“Everybody has a hot button. Who is pushing yours? While you probably cannot control that person, you CAN control the way you react to them.”
– Unknown
How do the words above resonate with you?
Pause here for a moment and free yourself from distractions:
Take a deep breath in... exhale slowly... deep breath in... exhale slowly... deep breath in... exhale slowly... calm your mind and be present...
We have more power than we think. We take for granted how our reactions can be the game changer.
Who is that person you can’t seem to escape from... the one that has a PhD in pushing your buttons?
Funny but not funny... Think about that for a moment...
On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate your ability to successfully deal with them?
Does they negative energy sit with you... are you able to let it roll off... can you easily redirect their negativity..,
What can you do to become more effective in handling difficult people?
10 Tips for Handling the Difficult People At Work: (lifehack.com):
1. Avoid The Guilt Trip: Bullies love asking extra favors and often guilt you into doing things for them. It is important to stand firm on your decisions and not get suckered into things that you feel aren’t right.
2. Disarm Them With Kindness: Most bullies feed off of your frustration and weaknesses. Why not confuse the heck out of them and make them feel powerless? The best way is by saying something KIND in return. When you set the intention to extend kindness to everyone, you’ll get a lot more back in return.
3. Keep Conversations Simple and Clear: Don’t tell these people to much about your personal life or what’s going on with you, just keep things really simple and to the point. Talk about other things (not your personal life) if you absolutely are in a situation where you have to chat (e.g. the hockey/soccer/football game, or the weather).
4. Self-Compassion: self-compassion can help you emanate greater self-confidence, which can be a great tool in the workplace. Self compassion delivers and impressive array of benefits: decreased anxiety, depression and self-criticism. This therefore improves relationships and can help you achieve greater feelings of social connectedness and satisfaction with life. Confidence and self-compassion increases your ability to handle negative events, and even improves your immune system functioning. Self-compassion can be taught through yoga, and this ancient practice called Metta (discussed below and highly recommend).
5. Stand Up Taller / Improve Your Posture: Open up your stance, keeping your shoulders back and take as much space as you need. Numerous psychological studies have demonstrated that open postures convey a sense of the individual having power and closed postures convey a sense of the individual having little power
6. Practice “Metta”: Metta is the conscious practice of developing kind intentions toward all beings. Studies show that practitioners of “Metta” emit deeper brainwaves, and were able to bounce back from stress scenarios much faster. In addition, these individuals showed particular enhancement in the left frontal lobe of their cortex, also referred to as the ‘happy region’ of the brain.
7. Say “Ouch” To Throw Them Off: Quick and easy. It actually makes that person look bad in front of other people and more aware of the effect they are having on others.
8. Be Firm When They Ask Things Of You: Remain firm on your decisions and do not hesitate to reject an unfavorable request no matter what they might say to persuade you. If the situation turns ugly, keep calm and politely tell them that you have to answer to your own superior and the tasks assigned to you are more urgent than the “favors” they are asking from you.
9. Keep Cool When They Are Freaking Out: It will be very obvious to the onlookers in the office that you are being more professional than the bully who might already be blowing their top and raising their voice at you. Show that you are not affected by them and you will emerge the “winner” in your “negotiation” in saying “no” to the bully.
10. Give Yourself 24 Hours To React: When someone is being irrational or bullying you, the last thing you should do is feed into it right there and then. You are in an extremely emotional/anxious state and not thinking logically or clearly. It is really best to give the whole thing 24 hours and respond to that person when you are in a better state of mind.
“The majority of our physical ills have their origin in emotional and spiritual issues we have not dealt with successfully... when your mind is confused, when your heart is heavy, when your soul is divided, you are ripe for illness to get a grip on you.”
-Gay Hendricks
I challenge you to be good to yourself and reclaim your power.
What are you willing to do?
Don’t miss your opportunity! Be intentional, encourage others to do the same and watch what happens.
You got this!
Coach Tavia
Related Article:
10 Tips for Handling the Difficult People At Work
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