“Hurt is inevitable, and we may not be able to able to avoid pain; however, we can choose to treat ourselves kindly and lovingly when it comes,"
-Lisa Olivera
How do the words above resonate with you?
Pause here for a moment and free yourself from distractions:
Take a deep breath in... exhale slowly... deep breath in... exhale slowly... deep breath in... exhale slowly... calm your mind and be present...
How is holding on to the pain of the past serving you? Think about that for a moment...
Iyanla Vanzant shares these words of wisdom about pain:
You cannot force someone else to see your pain.
Your experience is the only motivation required to let you know that something must change. That something is you.
Take responsibility for the elimination of your own pain.
What’s your motivation to make much needed change? Spend some time with tis question...
If you’re trying to move forward from a painful experience, but you’re not sure how to get started, here are 12 tips to help you let go.
How to Let Go of Things from the Past:
1. Create a positive mantra to counter the painful thoughts: How you talk to yourself can either move you forward or keep you stuck. Often, having a mantra that you tell yourself in times of emotional pain can help you reframe your thoughts.
“I am fortunate to be able to find a new path in life — one that is good for me.”
2. Create physical distance: Creating physical or psychological distance between ourselves and the person or situation can help with letting go for the simple reason that we are not having to think about it, process it, or being reminded of it as much.
3. Do your own work: Focusing on yourself is important. You have to make the choice to address the hurt that you’ve experienced. When you think about a person who caused you pain, bring yourself back to the present. Then, focus on something that you’re grateful for.
4. Practice mindfulness: The more we can bring our focus to the present moment the less impact our past or future has on us. When we start practicing being present, our hurts have less control over us, and we have more freedom to choose how we want to respond to our lives.
5. Be gentle with yourself: It’s time to show yourself some kindness and compassion. Treat yourself like you would treat a friend, offering self-compassion, and avoiding comparisons between your journey and those of others.
6. Allow the negative emotions to flow: These negative emotions are like riptides. Let them flow out of you… It may require mental health intervention, but fighting them can leave you stuck.
7. Accept that the other person may not apologize: Waiting for an apology from the person who hurt you will slow down the process of letting go. If you’re experiencing hurt and pain, it’s important you take care of your own healing, which may mean accepting that the person who hurt you isn’t going to apologize.
8. Engage in self-care: When we are hurting, it often feels like there is nothing but hurt. Practicing self-care can look like setting boundaries, saying no, doing the things that bring us joy and comfort, and listening to our own needs first. The more we can implement self-care into our daily lives, the more empowered we are. From that space, our hurts don’t feel as overwhelming.
9. Surround yourself with people who fill you up: This simple yet powerful tip can help carry you through a lot of hurt. We can’t do life alone, and we can’t expect ourselves to get through our hurts alone, either. Allowing ourselves to lean on loved ones and their support is such a wonderful way of not only limiting isolation but of reminding us of the good that is in our lives.
10. Give yourself permission to talk about it: When you’re dealing with painful feelings or a situation that hurt you, it’s important to give yourself permission to talk about it. Find a friend or therapist who is patient and accepting as well as willing to be your sounding board.
11. Give yourself permission to forgive: You may have to work on your own forgiveness.
Forgiveness is vital to the healing process because it allows you to let go of anger, guilt, shame, sadness, or any other feeling you may be experiencing and move on.
12. Seek professional help: If you’re struggling to let go of a painful experience, you may benefit from talking to a professional. Sometimes it’s difficult to implement these tips on your own, and you need an experienced professional to help guide you through the process.
“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”
-Steve Maraboli
What are you willing to do?
Don’t miss your opportunity! Be intentional, encourage others to do the same and watch what happens.
You got this!
Coach Tavia
#beabetteryou, #learnandgrow, #responsibility, #accountability, #youmatter, #honoryourself, #live, #ownyourpower, #ittakescourage, #commitment, #thinkforyourself, #believe, #trustyourself, #beconsistent, #selfawareness, #selfdiscovery, #maximizeyourpotential, #shareyourgifts, #seizeopportunity, #becreative, #reflect, #reach, #stretch, #bepresent, #faith, #confidence, #dothework, #leadbyexample, #justdoit, #lifecoach, #leadershipcoach, #leadershipdevelopment
References:
How to Let Go of Things from the Past
Vanzant, Iyanla; Until Today: Daily Devotions for Spiritual Growth and Peace of Mind. Atria, New York, NY 2020.
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