“Forgiveness is not something you do. It is a state of being that when offered brings forth the truth of who you are.”
-Iyanla Vanzant
How do the words above resonate with you?
Pause here for a moment and free yourself from distractions:
Take a deep breath in... exhale slowly... deep breath in... exhale slowly... deep breath in... exhale slowly... calm your mind and be present...
Forgiveness is a simple term with the ability to easily complicate things.
Why is offering forgiveness difficult for you? Think about that for a moment...
Let’s take this a step further:
Is it more difficult for you to forgive others or forgive yourself? Interesting comparison that can lead to deeper understanding... Spend some time with your thoughts...
forgiveness /noun/
a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. (greatergood.berkeley.edu)
Forgiveness starts with you. You are the only person you can control in any situation.
“Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it.”
— Maya Angelou
Iyanla Vanzant shares these examples of where each of us has the opportunity to do the deliberate work of self-forgiveness:
Each time you deny yourself the joy of loving or being loved...
When fear, anger or struggle for control motivates you to to behave in a mean, nasty, inconsiderate or spiteful way...
When you allow self-defeating beliefs to hold you in a place of pain and suffering...
When you lack the courage to move beyond habitual responses that do not support your true identity...
When you believe you know it all and can do it all alone...
Which one of the above scenarios resonates with you? One can't change what he doesn't acknowledge...
“Our sorrows and wounds are only healed when we touch them with compassion”
– Buddha
Today’s Affirmation: from Iyanla Vanzant’s, Until Today: Daily Devotions for Spiritual Growth and Peace of Mind.
I am now willing to forgive myself because I am not always aware of what I am doing to cause myself harm.
Today's Challenge: Begin the work of Self-forgiveness
Review the opportunities above that Vanzant identified as an area to begin the work of self-forgiveness.
Identify for yourself a place to begin your deliberate work of forgiveness.
As you go through the day, intentionally be open, lead with compassion, and kindness.
When you face any situation that challenges you, PAUSE and ask yourself: How can I react in a way that honors the best of me and I will be proud of?
“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” – Louise L. Hay
What are you willing to do?
Don’t miss your opportunity! Be intentional, encourage others to do the same and watch what happens.
You got this!
Coach Tavia
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References:
30 Healing Quotes on Self-Forgiveness
Vanzant, Iyanla; Until Today: Daily Devotions for Spiritual Growth and Peace of Mind. Atria, New York, NY 2020.
What Is Forgiveness?
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