"There is always an alternative to the present urgency – and it’s not a vacation, it’s acknowledging deeper responsibility."
-Stewart Brand
How do the words above resonate with you?
Pause here for a moment and free yourself from distractions:
Take a deep breath in... exhale slowly... deep breath in... exhale slowly... deep breath in... exhale slowly... calm your mind and be present...
Accepting responsibility... the phrase often conjures up strong emotions.
What does accepting responsibility mean to you? Think about that for a moment...
Accepting Responsibility: Explanation by Jennifer Hamady, psychologytoday.com
the ability to choose our response in every moment to all that is going on around us. A choosing that allows us to claim ownership of the circumstances of our lives, and thereby, to contribute to making them better.
Responsibility and blame are two different things. This may seem obvious, however, it specks to the heart of why accepting responsibility is difficult.
responsibility /noun/
the opportunity or ability to act independently and make decisions without authorization.
blame
/verb/: assign responsibility for a fault or wrong.
/noun/: responsibility for a fault or wrong
How To Accept Responsibility For Your Life: 7 No-Nonsense Tips
by Tess Miller lifehack.org
*These seven tips on how to accept responsibility will set you up for a good start:
1; Stop Playing the Victim: Take responsibility for your emotions. Acknowledging and validating emotions help you to understand what you’re feeling and why. You can then redirect the energy you’re wasting on being a victim and direct it toward more productive things in life.
2. End the Blame Game: This becomes another way to avoid taking responsibility, and we can do so out of a perspective of anger. Ask yourself how being and staying angry is serving you. It would serve you and others around you well to learn how to manage and work with any anger you have in your life so that you can resume your acceptance of responsibility.
3. Forgive Yourself and others: Without the feelings of victimhood and blame, you have the energy to see things from a perspective of forgiveness and tolerance. As you forgive others, you forgive yourself too and take ownership of your own tasks.
4. Use Responsibility as a Way to Help Others: Shirking our responsibilities can actually affect others’ well-being. We can step into a space of considering how our actions, or lack thereof, might be burdening or harming others. Thinking about things from another’s perspective can be a motivating factor and can provide us with feelings of purpose.
5. Look for the Win-Win: When we choose not to take responsibility, we are choosing a zero-sum game, meaning nobody wins. What if you looked for the win-win opportunity of taking responsibility instead? Consider modeling how you want to be treated by everyone. You will be taking responsibility and cultivating relationships. Everyone wins.
6. Make Taking Responsibility Fun: Another vantage point from which we could look is the place of joy. What could happen for you if you made a challenging task fun? What would that look like? Finding a way to make it fun helps you lose track of time and get the job done faster. Be creative. We don’t play enough as adults. Get back to your childhood roots and find ways to incorporate play into your daily routine!
7. Choose Your Own Adventure: When we approach responsibility from our highest self, we can be at choice for how we want to accept it. This requires an awareness of what we intend to accomplish or learn in any life experience. When we can approach any life situation from the standpoint of having choices, doesn’t that feel better than feeling forced into a decision or action?
"Personal responsibility leads to national transformation."
– Sunday Adelaja.
Words of wisdom from Iyanla Vanzant: from the book, Until Today: Daily Devotions for Spiritual Growth and Peace of Mind
Until you are willing to accept total and complete responsibility for every aspect of your life, your life will keep sending you experiences designed to get your attention.
What’s happening in your life that warrants some attention? Spend some time with this question...
Today’s Affirmation: from Iyanla Vanzant's book Until Today...
I am devoted to acknowledging my responsibility for every aspect of my life.
Today’s Challenge: Self-evaluation/self-correction.
Take blame out of the life evaluation equation.
Honestly examine the situations in your life which you are not pleased.
Forgive yourself for not accepting your full share of responsibility.
Where is your opportunity to self-correct? reflect... evaluate... correct...
4. Take time to figure it out and make a plan to move forward.
"We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future."
– George Bernard Shaw.
What are you willing to do?
Don’t miss your opportunity! Be intentional, encourage others to do the same and watch what happens.
You got this!
Coach Tavia
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References:
How To Accept Responsibility For Your Life (7 No-Nonsense Tips)
Vanzant, Iyanla; Until Today: Daily Devotions for Spiritual Growth and Peace of Mind. Atria, New York, NY 2020.
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