“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
How do the words above resonate with you?
Pause here for a moment and free yourself from distractions:
Take a deep breath in... exhale slowly... deep breath in... exhale slowly... deep breath in... exhale slowly... calm your mind and be present...
The quote above rings true for many. We never forget how someone made us feel. It affects how we interact with them and others and can often impact how we view ourselves.
Feelings are powerful things... yet we don’t do much teaching or talking about them at all. As a matter of fact, we often find ourselves justifying and defending our feelings or trying to convince others why they shouldn’t feel the way they do. We try to impose logic and make logical sense of our feelings.
*Western Logic: uses facts, statistics, and evidence
*Theological Logic: discusses morality, right and wrong to persuade
*Eastern Logic: tend to take a stance of fate, what will be, will be
What form of logic do you subscribe to?
...think about the choices above... what is your more dominate logical stance..?
Recall a time when you found yourself defending your feelings with someone whose logical perspective was different from yours.... how productive was that conversation?
...Were you firm in your position your feelings... or were you open to listening...how did it end..?
Psychologist, writer, and teacher in the field of personal growth, Gay Hendricks shares this goal that I believe will benefit all:
To reach a place where you no longer feel the need to defend your feelings. And also reaching a place where you do not demand proof from another about the validity of what the other feels.
feeling | noun an emotional state or reaction. a belief, especially a vague or irrational one.
"Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions.”
*Today’s Challenge: Release the need to defend how you feel
Affirmation: My feelings are facts.
In your next conflict, remind yourself of the affirmation above. Consider writing it down somewhere of storing it on your phone.
Do NOT allow yourself to provide evidence that your feelings are valid.
Simply describe your feelings and leave it at that.
Let’s begin to get comfortable being uncomfortable in order to increase our self-awareness, and self mastery.
How will you better deal with your feelings in the face of conflict?
What are you willing to do..?
Don’t miss your opportunity! Be intentional, encourage others to do the same and watch what happens.
You got this!
Coach Tavia
Reference:
*Gay Hendricks, A year of Living Consciously: 365 Daily Inspirations for creating a life of passion and purpose. #fellingsmatter, #learnandgrow, #beabetteryou, #honoryourself, #faceyourfears, #leadbyexample, #wonder, #justdoit, #focus. #allowyourselftofeel, #masterconflict, #responsibility, #selfawaremess, #shareyourgifts, #lifecoach, #leadershipcoach, #leadershipdevelopment
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