“...It’s important to be be open to those who are generous enough to tell you that you F’d up... especially around issues of race.”
-Ijeoma Oluo
How does the quote above resonate with you?
Pause here for a moment and free yourself from distractions:
Take a deep breath in... exhale slowly... deep breath in... exhale slowly... deep breath in... exhale slowly... calm your mind and be present...
Race is an uncomfortable topic. Much needed however, if we are going to end systemic racism in this country.
It’s up to all stakeholders to be willing to engage in meaningful conversation. Do your own research, stand up and speak up against racial inequality when you see it.
What’s your intention?
...think about it... sit with your thoughts for a moment...
Understand these conversations won't be easy. Ijeoma Oluo, in the book, So You Want to Talk About Pace, offers these suggestions:
Tips that will increase your chances of conversation success:
State your intentions: Why are you having this particular conversation? Why does it matter to you? Is there something specific you are trying to communicate or understand? Figure it out before moving forward and state what your intentions are.
Remember what your top priority in the conversation is, and don’t let your emotions override that: Don’t let your top priority all of a sudden become avenging your wounded pride if the conversation has you feeling defensive.
Do your research: A quick Google search will save everyone involved a lot of time and frustration.
Don’t make your anti-racism argument oppressive against other groups: It is never okay to battle racism with sexism, transphobia, ableism, or other oppressive language. Don’t stoop to that level and don’t allow others to.
When you start to feel defensive, stop and ask yourself why: What is being threatened here? What am I thinking that this conversation says about me? Has my top priority shifted to preserving my ego? If you are too heated to ask yourself these questions. Take a few minutes away to catch your breath and lower your heart rate so you can.
Do not tone police: Do not require that people make their discussions on racial oppression they face comfortable for you.
If you are white, watch how many times you say “I” and “me.”: Systemic racism is about more than individuals, and not about your personal feelings.
Ask yourself: Am I trying to be right, or am I trying to do better? Conversations about racism should never be about winning. You are on this topic to share and learn. Your opponent isn’t a person, it’s a system of racism that often shows up in the words and actions of other people.
Do not force people of color into discussions of race: People of color live with racism each and every day with no say over when and how it impacts their lives. It’s painful and exhausting.
"Learn how to be wrong in a way that minimizes pain to you and others and maximizes what you can learn from the experience."
When your conversation on race has gone very wrong:
Stop trying to jump back in when a conversation is beyond saving: Step away and take some time to calm down. Think about where things went wrong and what if anything can be done to revisit that conversation later in a productive and healthy way.
Apologize: If you can see where you screwed up, made assumptions, got overly defensive, or hurt someone, own up, say sorry, and mean it.
Don’t write your synopsis of this conversation as “the time you got yelled at.”: Remember why you had the conversation and what the core issue was. Do not revise it in your mind. It was an important conversation on race that didn’t go well.
Don’t insist that people give you credit for your intentions: If you screwed up and hurt people, your good intentions won’t lesson that hurt.
Don’t beat yourself up: Take some time to really think about what was said and what you could have done better. If you don’t get the chance to make things right with the person you were talking to, you can use what you learned to make sure you don’t screw up in the same way with other people.
Remember that it is worth the risk and commit to trying again: The alternative is your complacency in the continued oppression of people of color.
What are you willing to do to put an end to racial oppression and the systems created to support it?
Never give up... Continue to let hope fuel your fire. Be intentional, encourage others to do the same and watch what happens.
You got this!
Coach Tavia
#believe, #keephopealive, #leadbyexample, #focus, #ittakescourage, #becorageous, #justdoit, #befearless, #shareyourgifts, #speadlove, #responsibility,
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