“It is not healthy to hold yourself back to make other people comfortable.”
-Tweet from Iyanla Vanzant 1/2/22
How do the words above resonate with you?
Pause here and free yourself from distractions:
Take a deep breath in... exhale slowly... deep breath in... exhale slowly... deep breath in... exhale slowly... calm your mind and be present...
How have you been holding back?
What excuses are you making for not being where you want to be?
A new year delivers an opportunity to refocus, reevaluate, and get our life back on track. The direction is our choosing.
Gay Hendricks, author of “A Year of Living Consciously,” suggests getting the responsibility formula right is a start: Healthy Responsibility
Healthy responsibility is defined as taking 100 percent responsibility for yourself while inspiring others to take 100 percent responsibility.
Read the definition again, Anything less than 100% is unhealthy. Blaming others is unhealthy. Blaming your circumstances is unhealthy. Taking on the role of martyr, or someone else’s responsibility is unhealthy.
Today’s Affirmation:
I take healthy responsibility for my life and the projects in which I’m involved.
How do you do that? Not always easy, but not at all impossible. This article found on declutterthmind.com offers these strategies:
9 Ways to Take Responsibility for Your Life by Amber Murphy, declutterthemind.com
1. Take Responsibility to Prioritize Yourself: It’s okay to be selfish sometimes. You can’t give love and support to others if you aren’t providing it for yourself. practice self-care and self-love. Improve your confidence and understand that you have the final say in how you want your life to go.
2. Stop Playing the Blame Game: Blame is a convenient form of self-sabotage. When we are hyper-focused on other people’s mistakes, we miss learning many important lessons.
3. Make Time for Self Reflection: Self-reflection allows you to develop more self-awareness. When you are mindful of your feelings, thoughts, and actions, you understand the patterns and logic behind the things that you do. With this information in mind, you can take stock of negative habits and replace them with good-habits instead.
4. Take Accountability: When we accept responsibility, we understand our part in a given situation. Much of how we are treated is dependent on how we treat ourselves. It’s vital to be honest with yourself when you’ve done something wrong instead of avoiding transparency and making excuses. In being accountable, you choose a more proactive approach by correcting poor behavior and making better decisions.
5. Don’t Internalize Judgment: We are all unique in our way, having our own perspectives on success and happiness. Though many of our loved ones have good intentions, it’s not rare for them to project their wishes onto us. Be reminded: You are responsible for living your own life. Make an effort to get to know yourself better. When we live true to ourselves, we live happier and more fulfilled lives. This will require you to be completely honest with yourself. Take some time away from people who constantly impose their views on you as this can create internal conflict, rendering decision-making a considerable challenge.
6. Practice Compassion Towards Yourself: Reinforce positive self-talk, find humor in the situation, and feel gratitude for learning the lesson. Find the wisdom in all that you’ve discovered about yourself. A mere shift in perspective is a potent action to take when you take responsibility for your life.
7. Be Mindful of Excuses: We can find many reasons not to make life changes. However, to allow these reasons to influence you not to make any change is when that reason becomes an excuse. If we are to be responsible, accountable, and honest, we sit down and figure out a way. We all have the same 24 hours each day. How we choose to spend it is what we are all responsible for. And, this will show in the quality of life we have. So, stop making excuses for yourself.
8. Take Responsibility to Remove Toxic People: You must also take responsibility for the people you keep in your life. People who frequently complain, self-loathe, self-deprecate, and speak down on your progress aren’t beneficial for your growth. Keep healthy and supportive relationships. Establish emotional independence to make better decisions from an objective stance and attract authentic people into your life.
9. Eradicate Negative Self-Talk: Negative self-talk can come from childhood trauma, or originate from the projections and judgments other people throw at us. As we grow, we begin to take on our personality. Much of this has to do with the environment we are socialized in. We do not have to be a product of our environment. We have the power to take responsibility for our life and reclaim our full potential by utilizing the approaches mentioned above.
“Change takes place in the moment, and when you have faith, any moment can be the moment that change happens for you.” -Iyanla Vanzant
What are you willing to do to move forward and take healthy responsibility for your life?
Don’t miss your opportunity. Be intentional. Encourage others to do the same and watch what happens.
You got this!
Coach Tavia
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References:
Hendricks, Gay; A year of Living Consciously: 365 Daily Inspirations for Creating a Life of Passion and Purpose. Harper One, New York, NY 1998.
9 Ways to Take Responsibility for Your Life
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