"Release all bitterness. Hold only love, only peace in your heart, knowing that the battle of good to overcome evil is already won. Choose confrontation wisely, but when it is your time don’t be afraid to stand up, speak up, and speak out against injustice."
— John Lewis (1940-2020)
How do the words above resonate with you?
Pause here for a moment and free yourself from distractions:
Take a deep breath in... exhale slowly... deep breath in... exhale slowly... deep breath in... exhale slowly... calm your mind and be present...
John Lewis fought the good fight. He fulfilled many key roles in the the civil rights movement and its actions to end legalized racial segregation in the United States. Lewis left a legacy of character, consistency, diligence and determination that is undeniable. John Lewis’ elegant leadership, though some of the most difficult times in history. will never be forgotten.
Why do you hold onto bitterness?
...think about that for a moment... what are you gaining from it...
bitterness | noun anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly; resentment.
resentment | noun bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly.
What is the cost of bitterness and resentment?
...Is it worth the price....
The Cost of Bitterness: (from Psychology Today)
Prolonged or exacerbated mental and emotional pain.
Leads to long-lasting anxiety and/or depression.
Precipitates vengeful acts that put you at further risk for being hurt, victimized and possibly engulf you in a never-ending, self-defeating cycle of getting even.
Prevents you from experiencing the potential joys of living fully in the present by dwelling self-righteously on the past wrongs inflicted on you.
Creates or deepens an attitude of distrust and cynicism... qualities that contribute to hostility and paranoid thinking, as well as an overall sense of pessimism. Such a bleak perspective prompts others to turn away from you
Interferes with you cultivating healthy, satisfying relationships, and leads you to doubt, or disparage, your connection to others.
Compromises or weakens your higher ideals, and adversely impact your personal search for purpose and meaning in life.
Robs you of vital energy far better employed to help you realize your desires, or achieve goals that you coveted earlier.
Undermines your physical health. The chronic anger that is bitterness can raise your stress baseline, thereby taxing your immune system.
Blinds you from recognizing your own role, or responsibility, in possibly having been vindictively harmed by another
By keeping you in a paradoxical state of “vengeful bondage,” erodes your sense of well-being.
What are you holding onto... what can you do to let go of the bitterness?
...Whats the source... spend some time here... what do you need to let it go...
The answer is forgiveness! To let it go. one has to forgive.
To regain your emotional equilibrium and abandon resentment and bitterness, Clinical Psycologist James J Messina offers this 5 step process:
Identify the source of your bitterness and what this person did to evoke your resentful feelings
Develop a new way of looking at your past, present, and future—including how resentment has negatively affected your life and how letting go of it can improve your future
Write a letter to this person, describing [their] offenses toward you, then forgive and let go of them (but don’t send the letter)
Visualize having a better future having neutralized the negative impact of resentment
If bitter, resentful feelings remain, return to Step 1 and begin again.
“Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness.”
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
Let’s learn to forgive quickly. Let’s abandon the bitterness and resentment and reserve our energy to work towards a solution. Together we will win!
What are you willing to do?
Don’t miss your opportunity! Be intentional, encourage others to do the same and watch what happens.
You got this!
Coach Tavia
Related Article:
Don’t Let Your Anger “Mature” Into Bitterness: Bitterness: What's Its Cause, Cost, and Cure?
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